Beyond "what's that?": questions to ask while coloring together

The best questions to ask while coloring are short, open and easy to ignore: “Which color comes next?”, “How do you think the dog feels?”, “What was the best part of today?” Ask one, leave a gap, and keep coloring. Below are sixteen to try, sorted by what they invite your child to do. The questions are ours; the ideas behind them come from the sources we name.

When the table goes silent

You sit down to color together, full of good intentions. “What’s that?” you ask. “A dog.” “Nice. What color is it?” “Blue.” Then nothing. A minute later you hear yourself sounding like a quiz show host, and your child leans a little further over the page.

Too many questions can turn a calm moment into an exam. Yet hands busy with crayons can be a good place for a conversation, if the adult sets it up gently.

Why doing something else helps

The psychiatrist Daniel Siegel and the psychotherapist Tina Bryson explain that retelling a hard moment tends to work better while doing something else, and that it should not be forced: you can start the story, leave a gap, or wait. They do not write about coloring books. Taking it to the coloring table is our idea.

Questions about choices

Siegel and Bryson compare the thinking part of a child’s mind to a muscle that grows with use, and they suggest asking instead of ordering when you can.

1. Where do you want to start?
2. Which color comes next?
3. Is this page finished, or is there more?
4. If you could only use two colors, which would you pick?

Questions about other people’s feelings

They suggest simple questions about what someone else is feeling, including when you read together.

5. How do you think Mariano feels here?
6. What makes you think so?
7. Who could help him?
8. What would you say to him?

Questions about what comes next

Between 3 and 6, they suggest “what would you do?” games and asking a child to predict the ending of a story.

9. What will happen after this picture?
10. What would you do if you were him?
11. What if the cake fell on the floor?
12. How should this story end?

Questions about the day

They also point out that memory grows stronger with use. They suggest asking about the facts of the day, the good and the bad, and taking turns telling details.

13. What did you have for lunch?
14. Who did you play with today?
15. What was the best part of today, and the hardest?
16. I will tell one thing about today, then you tell one?

If a hard moment comes up, you can start the story and offer the next line: “You fell off the swing, and then…” They add that children between 3 and 6 love telling and being told stories, so be ready to repeat one many times. We wrote more on this in the honest benefits of coloring.

How to use the list

• One question per page. Two at most.
• Answer your own. Children may copy what they hear you do.
• Accept silence. If they shrug, go on coloring.
• Skip it when things go badly. If a child gets upset, connect first. Questions can wait.

If your child avoids the table altogether, see what to do when a child does not like coloring. To pick a book that invites talk, try our age guide.

A page to talk over

Pages with lots going on give you more to ask about. Volume 1 is a birthday party, and Volume 2 follows a lucky cat in Japan. Or start free with the Japan page.

Tonight, choose just one question from the list. Ask it, then pick up your own crayon.